I'm so vain, I probably think this blog is about me...

Raise your hand if you remember the Sunshine Award!! We're throwing it back to old school blogging today with a questionnaire from the lovely Callie at Through Clouded Glass. I never thought I'd see this award resurface - thanks, Callie!

1. What is a favorite childhood memory?
At least once every summer, my parents and sister and I would drive 6 hours from where we lived in Washington to spend a week or two in Bend, Oregon at my grandparents' house. They had an irrigation ditch that ran through their backyard, and more often than not, there would be a duck family living in the area, complete with little ducklings. My sister and I would spend hot days swimming in the ditch, digging up handfuls of mud and smearing it all over ourselves and declaring we were at a spa getting "mud mask treatments." My grandparents also had old bicycles and wooden stilts, and we would spend hours riding bikes around their cul-de-sac or practicing our stilt walking. One time, we were sword fighting with some sticks we found, and my sister accidentally hit me in the arm hard enough to give me a small cut. To this day, I have a small scar on my arm from that cut. I don't know how, since it barely even bled and certainly didn't need stitches, but nevertheless, it's a reminder of fun times in my childhood.

2. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
This is a tough question, because I haven't been a lot of places in the world. At the moment, if someone offered me the chance to move anywhere, I would move back to Washington. If Washington was not an option and I had to choose somewhere more exotic, I guess I would choose Iceland (mostly because besides there, I've only been to Canada and Mexico). Barring my opposition to their political views, it's a gorgeous country with a really neat culture. The only thing not my favorite is that they don't get hot summers.

3. What was the last book you read?
I'm in the middle of two books at the moment - Spaceman by Mike Massimino, and How to Be a Perfect Christian by the Babylon Bee.

4. When you have spare time, what do you do with it (besides blogging, of course)?
I usually either bake something, macrame something, or play with Imogen. I never have baby-free time other than when she's napping, so all of these things are things I can do while keeping an eye on her.

5. With whom is your longest friendship?
I'm actually still friends with a girl named Katie that I met in 5th grade. She and my sister took harp lessons from the same teacher, so that's how we met. We aren't super close these days, though she was one of my best friends in junior high and high school, but we still keep in touch and stay mostly up to date on each other's lives.

6. Favorite summer beverage?
For sure iced coffee. Give me a giant glass with a packet of Stevia, a tablespoon of heavy whipping cream, the strongest cold brew you have, and a ton of ice and I'll be happy. Sometimes I'll throw in a splash of vanilla extract if I'm feeling extra.

7. If you had the opportunity to attend your own funeral, what would you hope to hear people say about you?
I hope people would say I was a good and Godly mother, wife and friend.

8. All you ladies are married - how did you meet your spouse?
I went to college in Oklahoma with a girl from Alaska, who was married to a guy originally from Oklahoma, and the two of them happened to be best friends with Isaiah (who still lived in Sitka). After college, I was living back in Washington, and my friend - who had moved back to Sitka -decided to play matchmaker. She kept trying to get me to send Isaiah a message on Myspace (LOL) and I distinctly remember telling her that if she could get him to send me a message first, then I would send him a friend request. He actually did, on March 20th, 2009. We spent many days messaging each other, which turned into Skyping and phone calls, which turned into me moving to Alaska in May of 2009. On March 20th, 2010, exactly a year after our first internet chat, we were married.

9. Finish the sentence: "In high school I could have been voted most likely to..."
Immediately forget all about high school the minute I walked off the stage at graduation. (Fun fact: I hated high school with a fiery, burning passion.)

This is how 17 year old Angi felt about high school.

10. Tell us something we don't already know and wouldn't think to ask you.
I was a waitress for 3 1/2 years during junior high and high school, and 4 1/2 years right before, during, and after college. For those keeping track, that's a grand total of 8 years of waitressing. In junior high/high school, I worked at an upper class retirement center, in their main dining room. In college, I was a server at Chili's in Oklahoma. Right after moving back to Washington after school, I worked at a restaurant called Claim Jumper (it was the worst waitressing job I've ever had and I quit after a month). To this day, despite being 12 years removed from working in restaurants, I still have a hard time not being super judgmental of restaurants, servers, and food that doesn't live up to basic standards. I've about lost my mind several times in this one particular restaurant in Sitka that doesn't bring silverware when they bring our water, because I'm so sick to death of getting my food and having to ask for a dang fork to eat it with. I'm obsessed with any show featuring Gordon Ramsay screaming at some poor restaurant owner who doesn't think it's a big deal to put raw chicken on a shelf above cooked chicken in a refrigerator, and I think Isaiah's about sick of hearing me say "If I owned this place..."

I nominate ALL OF YOU.

I have thoughts #7

+ Imogen's first birthday is in four days. FOUR DAYS. She has the best personality, and I can't wait to see what that personality looks like as she gets even bigger (not that I'm wishing time along or anything!). She's sweet and silly and loves to make us laugh. She will grunt and squeal at strangers until they have no choice but to look in her direction so she can give them a big toothy grin and wave at them. She will try a few bites of almost any food we give her, but isn't a very big eater and makes me a little worried about what will happen when we start swapping out formula for milk soon. She has been a decent sleeper for the last couple of months, but in the last few weeks, her sleep has gone to absolute crap and I cannot for the life of me figure out how to fix it. Despite only getting about 9 hours of sleep at night and 2 hours of naps during the day, she's still the happiest baby and is rarely cranky.

She has 8 teeth and reddish blonde hair (just like Isaiah's mom and my grandma) and we joke that the reason she's obsessed with blueberries is because she needs to eat a lot of them in order to keep her eyes the color that they are. She isn't walking on her own yet, but she's getting braver by the day and is finally willing to use her walker to go back and forth in the kitchen without sitting down after only a couple of steps because it makes her too nervous. She loves to climb the stairs (praise God for baby gates) and chase the cat and she can even point out the kitties and doggies and ducks in her picture book.

Sometimes, I can't believe it's been a year since she was born. Most of the time, I REALLY can't believe it's been a year since I spent 27 hours in labor.

+ With Blogger/Google being stupid and not fixing the comment issue so many people are having, it seems many people are turning to Disqus to solve the problem instead. Confession: I hate Disqus with the fire of a thousand suns, and I can't bring myself to comment on blogs that use it. I hate having to sign in, I hate that it doesn't work half the time and/or I can't remember my log in, and to be honest, I really don't like my comment being replied to right there in someone's comment section. Reminds me too much of Facebook and it feels a lot less personal.  I've had some really good discussions about various topics with people via email, spurred by something they said in the blog, and I feel like that relationship aspect of blogging is basically shoved aside when all you get is a quick response right below your original comment.

+ Isaiah bought me a new laptop for my birthday a few weeks ago! I've been using my Macbook (that he also bought me for one of our first married Christmases) for something like 7 years, and while it's held up fairly well considering, it was just getting slower and slower and not functioning like I wanted it to, even after taking it to the computer doctor in town and having it cleaned and updated and more memory installed. Not to mention, I've been wanting to go back to a Windows computer for a while now. I like my iPhone and iPad just fine, but I spent all day every day on a Windows PC at my job the last 15-ish years, and a lot of Mac functions just don't work the same way that Windows functions do, and the way I'm used to. I was tired of not having an actual "delete" button, I got tired of the function/control/option/command buttons all doing weird things I wasn't used to, and I find it a lot easier to organize folders on a Windows OS as well. So...hi, Hewlett-Packard, nice to meet you.

Also, hey Apple, how about a print screen button? Who even remembers shift + command + 4 every time they need a screenshot? (I had to Google it AGAIN just to add that line to this post.)

+ My mom is flying up day after tomorrow for Imogen's birthday, will spend a few days here afterward, and then we're all headed back to Washington together for a little vacation. Imogen and Isaiah and I are headed to Mt. Rainier where we've rented an Airbnb cabin on the Cowlitz River, and the plan is to 1. relax, 2. hike, 3. relax, 4. hike, and 5. relax. I could not be more excited about this plan. I've been obsessively searching Instagram hashtags like "packwoodwa" and "mtrainiernationalpark" in preparation for this trip.

+ I feel like July is the new IT month for us. July of 2016, we went to Iceland. July 2017, we had a baby. July 2018, I finally get to do some hiking at Mt. Rainier - which you'd think I would have done having grown up in Washington, but I haven't. I'm starting to like July a little bit.

I Have Thoughts #6

First, if there are a lot of typos in this post, I apologize in advance. I am tired. Isaiah gets up for work at 5:45am, and there's no going back to sleep for me after that. Also, we've finally finished night weaning Imogen and as a thank you she's been waking up regularly between 6-6:30 instead of 7:30 like she used to. Her bedtime is still the same so I don't know what gives. It's probably not the weaning thing (because let's be real, she's almost 11 months old, she doesn't need a bottle at 5am); I'm thinking it's more a developmental phase combined with teething. She has been working on four - yes, count them, FOUR - teeth this last week or two, and it's been off and on hellacious for all of us. Three of them have finally broken the surface, thank the Lord above, so we only have one left and please, Jesus, make it come quickly.

She's also been fighting her afternoon nap like it's her hill to die on, and while she usually does eventually fall asleep, it's kind of stressful for me to sit there and listen to her jabber away and play with the zipper on her sleep sack for 45 minutes to an hour. And yes, I've tried putting her down a little bit earlier and a little bit later for the nap, and neither has made a difference. I know she's not ready for one nap yet, and I've read that there's a nap-fighting stage between 10-11 months, so I'm just trying to weather the storm over here.

Anyway, like I said, I'm tired, and I've been letting Imogen watch far more Little Baby Bum on Netflix than I'd like to admit. At least it's educational???

In other news, I'm starting to plan Imogen's first birthday party (who am I kidding, I started thinking about this months ago). The more I think about it, the more I want to cancel it, and we haven't even invited anyone yet. My mom's flying up for her birthday, which will be awesome, but I really just want to have some family time and not have to think about food and decorations and who we're going to invite and blah blah blah. Let's be honest, people don't have 1st birthday parties for the baby, anyway. It's just for the photos and the baby book. And Facebook, if that's your thing.

In reality, there's no way I could get away with NOT having a birthday party for her, not with in-laws who live here and a grandma flying up for the occasion and friends who have parties every chance they get. I would be the scourge of the family. A plague on both my houses. So, I'm researching inexpensive party decorations and trying to decide exactly how much DIYing I'm willing to do.

The other problem is location. It's not like we're inviting an army, but we'll probably have at least 15 people (ughhhhhhhhhhhh) and our house is flat out too small. There's a small building in town that would have been absolutely perfect and they normally rent it out by the day, but it's unavailable in June and July. Of course. Our only other options are to beg someone to let us have it at their house (nahhhh) or to have it at a covered campground or something outside, and I literally do not remember the last time it didn't rain on the 4th of July. Rainforests, man, always raining.

I'm probably putting way more thought into this than I need to be, and I seriously wish we could just invite her aunts and uncle and grandparents and be done with it (even though that would still be 5 too many people) but I already feel like I'm putting my foot down by saying no, we are not inviting half the police department. Like I told Isaiah, the people you invite to your daughter's first birthday party are people YOU want to spend time with, because the baby couldn't care less. She doesn't have "friends" yet.

Enough about the birthday party.

Did you hear that Ireland just made abortions legal? I shed literal tears when I read the news. I happened to have Imogen sitting on my lap playing with her blocks at that very moment, and the thought of someone murdering her before she was even born had me weeping and hugging her. Screw anyone who thinks unborn babies are not alive. To me, she's been alive since the second I saw that second pink line on my pregnancy test and nobody will ever be able to convince me otherwise. The fact that people were sobbing with joy and celebrating in the streets makes me absolutely sick to my stomach. They're literally celebrating infanticide. Crying tears of happiness because they're now legally able to murder babies whenever they want. If that doesn't disgust you too, there's the door.

On a lighter, less depressing note, has anyone here ever tried the keto diet? Normally I'm not a huge fan of fad diets - I figured out what works for me in terms of eating habits a while back and as long as I stuck to that, I was able to maintain my weight pretty easily. Post-baby, though? Nope. What worked before has most definitely not been working. I used to eat semi-low carb and that worked fine, but the same ratio of carbs to fat/protein has not been working anymore. I was talking to my sister-in-law a week or two ago, and she and her husband have been following the keto diet since last September and she's lost almost 40 pounds. And she doesn't work out. Like, not even a little bit.

Now, I'm not really a fan of NEVER working out, because I like to be fit in order to be able to go hiking on tougher trails and not feel like I'm dead before I've started. But I was intrigued, and since my previous eating habits were doing nothing for me and I have nothing to lose (ha ha) I thought I might give it a shot.

Let's just say I've lost 6 pounds in about two weeks. I know a lot of that is probably water weight, but that's fine - at least something is happening, whereas previously the scale wasn't budging no matter what I did. I still have about 20 pounds I want to lose, but my jeans are getting looser and the scale is going down, so I think I might stick with this for a while. It's simpler than I thought, too, even though when I'm tired I crave sugar and that's not an option with this way of eating. It seems counterintuitive to eat a lot of fat in order to lose fat, but I can't really argue with the science behind it. I don't want to talk forever about this because I know it's super annoying when people blab on and on about their diets and weight loss and whatever, but if you're curious about it, let me know and we can chat about it.

Also, the first person that says "Tee hee, I can't relate because I never had to change a thing after I had my baby and I was back in my size 4 skinny jeans only six weeks after having him/her! But good for you for figuring out what works for you! Tee hee!" gets a loaf of bread thrown at their head. I can't eat it right now anyway.

On Mother's Day

I get tired of feeling like I have to post disclaimers to the things I write lest someone think I'm passive aggressively singling them out, but here it is anyway: This post is not directed at any one specific person, so please take none of this personally. 

First of all, a belated Happy Mother's Day to all of you! I hope you all had a wonderful day full of love and joy, whether you have kids or not. This was my first Mother's Day with Imogen on the outside, and it was pretty great. Even though I wasn't thrilled about having to spend the day alone at home with a baby, Isaiah went above and beyond to make sure the day was special for me anyway, and it was very much appreciated.

That said, I've had something weighing on me the last few days that I have to get off my chest. I noticed a weird, somewhat disturbing trend this year on Mother's Day that has been bothering me ever since.

Have you ever noticed that there seem to be trends in the online world relating to attitudes toward certain situations? For instance, on a very basic level, it's very popular in the blog world to be omginlove with the fall season. If you aren't posting daily photos of your boots amongst the crunchy leaves or publicly drooling over your apple cider, you're the odd one out. Me, I like fall, but it's not my favorite season. You'll probably never catch me blogging about how much I love mustard colored cardigans (even though I do) or Instagramming my own hand holding a Starbucks cup in front of an orange and yellow leaved tree.

Snarkiness aside, it's totally fine to enjoy joining in with other people following popular trends like that. Sometimes.

I've also noticed that there are certain attitudes toward kids that seem to be growing in popularity over the last year or two, and it honestly has started to really upset me.

It's somehow become okay (popular, even) to call your toddler an "asshole." There's even a book with that as part of the title. It's somehow become trendy to go on and on about how all you want for your birthday/Mother's Day is an entire day away from your awful, needy children. It's somehow become the popular thing to do to only speak negative things about your kids, and never say a single positive thing about them. I have to be completely honest - there are some things I've seen online that have literally made me wonder why some people chose to have kids if they hate them so much.

Before you tar and feather me, I'm sure everyone actually loves their kids. But how is anyone supposed to know that if people don't act or talk like it?

I saw one Instagram account this week (nobody who reads this blog, calm down) where the mom could not stop talking about how overjoyed she was that her husband was taking her son out of town for the weekend so she could be away from him for two whole days. Ever since she had her baby, she's done nothing but talk about how difficult motherhood is, how it's nothing like she imagined, and how it should be "okay" to talk publicly, as women, about how much we love our kids but also how much we hate being a mom. Hashtag "brave" or something like that.

I make no apologies when I say I do not feel like that's okay. Are there hard days as a mom? OF COURSE. Curated Instagram accounts where a woman with an immaculately cleaned and decorated house has five kids all perfectly dressed in matching frocks who never whine or cry or throw tantrums or spill all their food on the floor are not real life. I don't think anybody who's a parent can take those kinds of accounts seriously and, if someone who's planning on having kids does, they're in for a shock when life really looks nothing like that.

But I also can't get on board with oversharing the negative side of being a parent and having kids. That's what husbands and your best friend are for - to vent about those hard days. It really shouldn't be the new popular thing to complain 24/7 about your kids on social media. It's not funny to call your toddler an asshole, because your toddler ISN'T an asshole. He/she is a toddler. They need a mature adult to parent them and teach them how to handle their emotions properly, how to be nice and sweet and not hit people, and yes, they need to be disciplined so they don't turn into actual assholes when they're 20.

It just makes me sad. Sometimes I think, what if our parents had Instagram and Facebook and wrote blogs and never had a single good thing to say about us when we were kids? I would be devastated if I cracked open my baby book and all my mom wrote in it was that I was a little asshole and the best Mother's Day she had was one she didn't have to spend with me.

Is it okay to want a break from your kids sometimes? YES. It's totally okay, and totally normal, to want to get out alone or with your spouse or friends for a kid-free date. That's why babysitters were invented. But when I log onto Instagram and it seems like everyone this year is rejoicing because they were able to ditch their kids for the day/weekend, it's a little upsetting. Mother's Day is, yes, a day to celebrate moms and all the hard work they do. And if getting out alone for Mother's Day is what makes it a good day for you, that's fine! What's not fine is to imply your kids are the worst part of your life and THANK GOD ALMIGHTY you're getting rid of them for the day.

I just think we all need to start making a more conscious decision to speak good things over our kids. Instead of calling them names, let's start choosing to share the good things about them. Take a look at your Instagram account or Facebook posts or blog entries - is it 90% negative and 10% positive, or the other way around? I believe words have power - it is in the Bible after all - and if you call your kid an asshole or a little terror or a jerk, they're probably going to start acting like one.

I feel like this was a super ramble-y, disjointed post and I'm not sure I even adequately expressed myself. All I wanted for Mother's Day was for my husband to have the day off so we could celebrate my being a mom to the most beautiful little girl, and instead he had to work. But instead of complaining about single parenting and lamenting the fact that I had to spend yet another 13 hour day alone with my daughter, I woke up that morning and chose to thank God for the blessing of being her mom, and what better way to spend Mother's Day than with the little one who made me a mother in the first place?

Children are a heritage from the Lord; offspring a reward from Him.

Psalm 127:3

These Are My Confessions #3

Well, it's been a hot minute, hasn't it? I don't know why but I've been in a blogging rut lately and haven't even wanted to do my "life lately" posts because of the funk I've been in.

Wait, I feel like I'm doing this wrong...hold on...

OMG YOU GUYSSS. I'm so so SO sorry, I disappeared for a while but I'm back now!!!!! I hope you all didn't miss me too much, I'll do my best not to let my real life get in the way of my blogging from now on!!!!! Again, I'm SO sorry!!!!!

I crack myself up.

ANYwho, what better way to pull myself out of the funk that I've been in for a solid month now (I blame the weather, single parenting while my husband works 2394723410923874 hours of overtime, and just Alaska in general because why not?) than a bunch of pet peeves and gripes that I've been keeping track of in my phone for a post just like this? Onward!

Oh - and before anybody gets their you-know-whats in a wad, none of this is directed at anyone in particular. Nobody is on my mind THAT much. Well, except my baby, but she'd be on your mind 24/7 too if it was your leg she was trying to climb all day, every day.

+ The phrase "two kids under ____." I totally get the "two under two" or "three under three" notion because that's a lot of toddlerhood all smashed together, but the other day I heard someone make the comment that they had "two under three." As far as I'm concerned, that's a pretty normal spacing of kids, is it not? I was just shy of 2 1/2 when my sister was born, and I know a lot of people who have a two-ish year old when they have a new baby. What's next...two under five? Three under seven? It's like the "my baby is ____ months old" thing. After 24 months, just say how old they are in years, for the love of teething biscuits.

+ The term "girl boss." I don't know why this one gets under my skin, but it's just as annoying as "boy mom" or "girl mom." Hooray for breaking glass ceilings and all that, but there's literally nothing a man can do that a woman is not allowed to do these days, and one of those things is being a boss. How's this for a mind trip - starting at age 15, I've only had ONE job where my boss WASN'T a female. WHOAAAA.

+ Instagram gifs. I get it. They have their time and place. But every freaking Instagram story these days has multiple gifs splattered across the screen and I'm so over it. Enough with the dancing people and bouncy hearts!

+ The term "living my best life." I honestly don't know why this phrase annoys me, but it does. I think maybe because it's overused and applied to seriously mundane situations. "I'm eating a donut right now...living my best life!!" Seriously? Talk about low standards. You can hashtag your Instagram photo when you're doing something actually cool, like scuba diving with sharks in Costa Rica or summiting Mount Everest. Drinking wine next to a swimming pool doesn't qualify.

+ The thumbs up emoji. I'm seriously considering blocking the next person who replies to a text message from me with JUST the thumbs up emoji. How lazy are you, that you can't say "great!" or "sounds good!" or even just "OK"?

+ People who poke/touch babies' faces. Unless you're me or my husband, HANDS OFF. Someone (who shall remain nameless but who I'm related to by marriage) was literally flicking Imogen's cheeks the other day, Imogen was clearly not enjoying it, and yet they wouldn't stop. Add to that the average of three people every time we're at the grocery store who want to walk up and poke her in the face and I'm literally about to start doing it back to these people. Let's see how they like their cheeks flicked, poked and pinched.

+ Baby milestone comparisons. I don't really need to elaborate too much on this one because if you're a parent you already get it, but my goodness. Who cares if your kid pulls themselves to standing at 6 months or 9 months? Who cares if your kid walks at 12 months or 18 months? Who cares if your kid claps or dances or feeds themselves before so-and-so's kid? When mothers do this it always feels like it's more about what your kid isn't doing as opposed to what their kid is doing, and I'm so over it.

Okay, I think that's it for now. Time for coffee #3 and a quick edit job before the kiddo wakes up from her morning nap. Did I mention she's starting to cruise around the furniture now and has been dancing to music for the last week!? No, I didn't, because NOBODY CARES.

Really leaving now.

I have thoughts #5

The view has changed a bit...

Imogen is almost 9 months old. NINE MONTHS, guys. How? When? I mean, the first three or four months were probably the longest of my life (I cannot relate to people who say the first few months fly by. For me, they didn't. At all.) but the last six? I feel like just the other week she was barely able to roll over, and now she's crawling, able to put herself into a sitting position instead of relying on us to help her, pulling herself to her knees on everything she can get her hands on, eating all kinds of solid food (except purees, don't you dare try to put a spoon of puree in her mouth!), trying to share that food with us, waving hello/bye...at this rate she'll be walking next week. Just kidding, I have a feeling it'll be a while before she walks - she's still reeeeally wobbly when she tries to stand up.

We didn't really have a plan when it came to introducing solid foods to her at 6 months old, although I had grand plans of making all kinds of fun and fancy purees at home. Of course we ended up with a baby who hates purees. She'll eat from a pouch, but try to put a spoon in her face and you're likely to get it flung back at you. I always liked the idea of baby led weaning and although we haven't followed the rules to a T, it's been the method that's actually seemed to work the best. She feeds herself all kinds of food now, and will take just about anything we try to put in her mouth as long as it's a piece of food and not some mush on a spoon. The only food she doesn't like so far is berry flavored yogurt drops - I think they might be too tart (thought she devoured some orange slices the other day, so who knows). I even gave her a bite of asparagus the other day and she didn't hate it. Which is good because it's one of my favorite vegetables and I would have been so sad if she didn't like it.

A little blurry, because she never stops moving!

We're now "those parents" who have purchased a giant baby gate for our living room. We knew the day was coming because we installed a wood stove the winter before she was born, but now it's a reality. It works. I don't love having a giant metal fence in our living room, but I know it's not forever, and it really helps me not have to monitor her SO closely when she's playing by herself. I will say it'll be nice when the day comes that she understands "no", but that day is not today.

She's also SO tall! I don't know how in the world we got such a tall baby, but she's been in mostly 9-12 month (and some 12-18 month, because Zara runs ridiculously small) clothing for several weeks already. I might have mentioned this, but Isaiah is 5'9" and I'm barely over 5'4", so we have no idea where her height is coming from. Her 9 month checkup is next week and I'm interested to see just how long she's gotten.

Anyway, this wasn't supposed to be a baby-only post, so let's switch gears.

What are your plans for Easter this year? Isaiah has to work all day, so I'm flying solo. Well, solo with a baby. I guess they're having a potluck at the police department, and Isaiah asked if I wanted to make/bake something for him to take, and since it's not like I have much else going on, I said sure. I'm thinking some kind of broccoli salad and vegan cupcakes (one of his coworkers is lactose intolerant). I don't know why I'm even talking about this. This is how exciting my life is, guys! I'm blogging about the food I'm going to make for my husband's Easter potluck at his job. Eye rolls.

Here's something annoying...for some reason, a lot of companies like to treat Alaska like a 3rd world country, and offer no other shipping options other than either FedEx Smartpost or UPS SurePost (same difference). Both take at least 3-4 weeks to deliver here. There are a few companies I'll still buy from, simply because I like their stuff enough that I'm okay waiting (H&M is one of them, I just make sure not to buy any baby clothes that won't fit Imogen by the time they arrive).

But I've been ordering from Ulta for YEARS. I have several staple items that I've always bought from them, because I either can't get them in Sitka, or they're cheaper than in town (mascara, for one). Up until recently, I've always just used their standard shipping, which generally takes a week or so to arrive. APPARENTLY they've made some changes, and now they're using FedEx Smartpost unless you pay $10 for expedited shipping up here. It just took 3 1/2 weeks to get my Ulta order. It's not the end of the world, it's just really, really annoying.

I feel like Amazon shipping has gone downhill, too. I can't expedite things I used to be able to expedite, things they do allow me to expedite cost an arm and a leg (I'm not paying $50 in shipping for a box of diapers, forget it), and Prime shipping has gotten suuuuuper slow. Things are taking over a week just to ship these days and I'm having to majorly plan ahead for things like diapers and formula.

First world problems, I know, but I live in a first world country for a reason.

Annnnd Imogen just bumped her head and started crying, and that's my cue to start the bedtime routine. Mama out!

In defense of SAHMs and homeschooling

Antisocial homeschool kids not making any friends or having any fun, educational experiences outside the home.

Before I start getting into the topic, let me preface this by saying that I have nothing against working moms or moms who send their kids to daycare or public school. Nothing against them whatsoever. If you feel that working and putting your kids in daycare is the best choice for your family, that's awesome. Some mothers have to work out of necessity, and some choose to work because they feel that's how they feel they can best contribute to their family. I'm not here to judge working mothers or mothers who hire a babysitter so they can get a break from their kids once or twice a week or even moms who send their kids to daycare part time even though they aren't working.

Whatever works for your family, that's what's best. I would add that, personally, I think whether a mom chooses to work or stay at home is between her, God, and her husband.

That said...

I've seen several comments floating around the blog world and internet in general lately that are kind of derogatory toward stay-at-home moms and homeschooling. It seems a lot of people think that kids who stay at home vs. go to daycare/public school are in an either/or type of situation. EITHER they stay at home, OR they get to have friends. EITHER they stay at home, OR they get to experience people and things outside the home. EITHER they stay at home, OR they're socialized and well-adjusted.

It probably irritates me a little more than the average person, because I am both 1. the product of a SAHM/homeschooling family and 2. a stay-at-home-mom myself (homeschooling is TBD since I have a few years to think about it), but it's irritating nonetheless. I was homeschooled, I spent a couple of years in a private school, and I also went to a public high school. I can honestly say that I had the same amount of friends no matter where I was. I had school friends, I had neighborhood friends, I had church friends, and I had friends that were just the kids of my parents' friends. During my homeschool years, I was most certainly not lacking in any kind of socialization or experiences outside the home. My mom actually worked really hard to make sure both my sister and I had plenty of opportunities for activities outside the house.

People seem to think that if you keep your kids at home and don't send them to daycare and/or public school, you're essentially locking them in a basement with some bread and maybe some water and no exposure whatsoever to the big wide world outside. It couldn't be further from the truth, and honestly, I wonder if people who think that have actually ever talked to someone who was homeschooled or never went to daycare.

My sister and I both took music lessons and played in a youth symphony with other kids and teens for years. I played softball both for the YMCA and the local junior high school. My sister took ice skating lessons and met friends there. We both went to a homeschool co-op for a couple of years where we got to take a couple of classes and meet plenty of other kids who also homeschooled. We went rollerskating with other homeschool families every single Friday for several years. We had church Sunday School and youth group and had friends who both homeschooled and went to public school.

We were most certainly not lacking in either friends or outside-the-house experiences or, if you prefer, "socialization."

Honestly, I truly can't even begin to describe how much I despise that word when it's applied to homeschool kids or kids who don't go to daycare while their moms go to work. Kids are people. Kids are not dogs. Kids can learn social skills from their parents, their siblings if they have them, their neighbors, watching their mom interact with the dang cashier at the grocery store, for crying out loud.

To be blunt, I really do not understand what half the world has against SAHMs or homeschool families. There's no rhyme or reason to the accusations that are thrown out there, whether they're passive aggressive or blatantly rude. Maybe sometime, somewhere, there was a homeschool kid that was kinda weird or a little bit anti-social, but that's seriously not the norm. And, frankly, I knew plenty of daycare/public school kids who grew up to be terrible people. Public school does not a perfect person make (obviously, as evidenced by recent tragic events).

I guess all I'm saying is that I wish people would quit making off-the-cuff comments or passive aggressive statements that really don't do much to disguise how little they think of SAHMs or homeschoolers. Maybe talk to one of us sometime and try to understand our side of things. Sure, there are plenty of judgmental people/mothers out there on BOTH sides of the aisle. There are SAHMs who think working mothers are evil, selfish human beings who are shirking their child-raising responsibilities. There are working mothers who think SAHMs are lazy and sit around in their pajamas eating brownies while their kids play in their rooms alone all day.

Let's just not be either one of those people, okay? There are plenty of actual, legitimate reasons to judge people. How a person chooses to parent/school their kids really isn't one of them.

Questions? Let me know. I'm happy to share my life experiences with you.

2018 Goals, a few weeks late.

Are 2018 resolutions still resolutions if they aren't written out in blog format in January?

Who knows, but I figured I'll write this out real quick while it's still the 31st just in case my carriage turns into a pumpkin at midnight, or something.

I don't normally do the whole goals/resolutions thing, at least not at the beginning of every year, because I tend to believe that goals can be made and accomplished any time you want and there's no reason to wait until a new year starts to get cracking.

That said, I have a couple things floating around in my mind that I'd really like to work on and I guess if I write them down it makes me more accountable.

1. Work on my fitness.

I know, I know. This is basically every person's resolution every single time the calendar switches over, which is why gym memberships skyrocket and the Nike store is sold out of half their products. The thing is, I had a baby last July. I love her to death, and I wouldn't trade her for the best physique in the world, but pregnancy really took a toll on my body. I had grand illusions of having a "fit pregnancy" and I pinned a crap ton of pregnancy workouts on Pinterest and YouTube with the intention of gaining as little weight as I could while still being healthy and giving Imogen everything she needed. Unfortunately, I was really sick from weeks 6-13, and I literally could not stomach anything but bagels, crackers, bread, and more bagels. Eating healthy food made me sick, not eating anything made me feel even worse, so "carbs" became my safe word. Before having Imogen, I was in probably the best shape of my life. I was going to the gym several times a week, hiking with Isaiah almost every weekend, running and lifting weights and working on leaning out and getting more defined muscles. I had a body fat percentage I was proud of for once in my life, and I didn't want to cry anymore when I stepped on the scale. I've known through trial and error and lots of macro experimenting that too many carbs make me gain weight, so you can imagine what eating nothing BUT carbs for almost two months did to me. I also think my genetics factored in a bit, because I didn't eat THAT unhealthily after I started feeling better, but I ended up gaining 45 pounds. My mom told me she gained something like 60 pounds when she was pregnant with me, but it all dropped off really easily after I was born. I was hoping my own 45 pounds (on a 5'4" body that's not pretty) would drop off just as easily, but - whomp whomp - it didn't.

I wish I could say I've been working really hard at losing weight and I don't know why the scale isn't moving, but that would be a lie. I don't eat like crap - really, I don't - I don't eat much sugar and I don't snack on junk food and I don't overeat - I just haven't been exercising really much at all. Imogen is almost 7 months old, and I still have 30 pounds to lose to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight.

It's my fault, and I'm owning it - but I'm also going to change it. I've started using My Fitness Pal again to track my macros, and now that Imogen is taking fairly regular naps that are longer than 30 minutes I don't have any excuse to not exercise. We have a treadmill in our house, and the way I first started losing some weight back in 2015 was with Kayla Itsines' Bikini Body Guide (circuit training), and I want to start doing that again too. Isaiah and I plan to start going to the gym together again soon, and we even ordered a portable playpen so we can take Imogen and not have to worry about getting a babysitter (we go to the trooper academy gym, so we can take her - in case that sounded weird).

I know a lot of people say "9 months on, 9 months off!" but 2 months from now is an unrealistic amount of time to lose 30 pounds if I want it to stay off, so I'm going to try really hard to be back to my pre-pregnancy weight by Imogen's first birthday on July 2nd. That gives me 5 months, an average of 6 pounds per month. I know it's going to take a lot of hard work, but I'm ready. I'm sick of wearing jeans that are 3 sizes bigger than I used to wear, and I'm sick of not being able to wear 95% of my closet because everything is two sizes too small for me right now. I look at pictures from last summer and I want to be really upset that I let this happen, but it's also a little bit motivating because I know what I can accomplish and how I can look if I try really hard, and I'm ready to try really hard.

2. Stop feeling guilty over not being able to breastfeed Imogen.

I haven't blogged much about it because it's still a really big source of guilt and hurt, but long story short, I had every intention of exclusively breastfeeding Imogen until she was at least a year old. For the first week or so of her life, nursing was going really well. She was gaining weight, my milk came in just fine, and (I thought) she was getting the hang of latching. Then something stalled. She stopped gaining weight at an appropriate rate. She was fussy (so, so fussy) every time I would try and nurse her. She would nurse for two minutes, then pull away and start crying and thrashing around and doing this odd little head-banging move. I went to the lactation consultant at our clinic, and we tried so many things. Different positions, different nursing pillows, making sure I had a good letdown (not over/under-active), and so on and so forth. Finally, she checked for a tongue tie and, lo and behold, Imogen had not only a severe tongue tie but also an upper lip tie, which was preventing her from latching properly and, since she wasn't latching properly, she wasn't getting enough milk. In turn, that made my milk supply take a huge nosedive - supply and demand and all that. We ended up flying down to see a specialist in Washington who fixed her lip and tongue when she was 3 months old, but by then, she had already had so many bottles of pumped milk and formula that we were never able to get back to breastfeeding. She would just get so frustrated because my supply was low, she was used to instant gratification from bottles, and every time we tried to nurse, one or both of us would end up crying. The last time I nursed her was November 30th. She wasn't even 5 months old.

I struggle every day with "what ifs". What if we had discovered/fixed her tongue tie earlier? What if I had just tried harder to nurse her? What if she hadn't been born with those issues? What if not being able to bond over breastfeeding hurts our relationship in the future? What if the fact that she's not a very snuggly baby is because she's somehow subconsciously mad at me for not nursing her? What if we have to go through this all over again with our next baby? I know half of those questions are irrational, but being a mom makes you pretty irrational sometimes. Starting now, I want to stop beating myself up over the whole situation, and just be thankful that she is perfectly healthy and thriving on bottles and formula. Besides, we're on our way to transitioning to solid food, and by the end of the summer she won't be needing bottles anymore anyway. I want to just be happy that formula and bottles exist to feed my baby, and not feel guilty and start tearing up every time I run across a blog or Instagram post about someone else's amazing breastfeeding journey. I also want to be proud that we endured so many months upon months of lactation consultant appointments, therapy appointments for her jaw/latching issues, weigh-ins at the doctor to make sure she was still gaining weight, the hours upon hours of pumping I've done in order to give her SOME milk, even if it's not ALL milk - and not have those feelings of guilt come creeping in again every time someone else finds out we're doing bottles of formula now and kind of acts like maybe I didn't try hard enough. It's happened - I don't like it - but I'm done letting it get to me.

3. Curb my spending/earn some money.

I wouldn't classify myself as a shopaholic, but having a baby kind of makes you want to buy ALL THE THINGS. Imogen does not need one more outfit until she actually grows out of what she currently has. She does not need one more toy until she hits a new developmental stage and rattles and crinkle books just aren't fun anymore. She does not need one more book until - okay, that's a lie, she always needs more books.

Still, I need to quit buying her things she doesn't need right now/yet, and instead I'd like to find a way to earn some money from some of the clothes and things she's outgrowing. I've been saving a good amount of her clothes in case we have another baby girl someday, but there have also been many bags donated to the thrift store. I do like donating things so someone else can have nice baby clothes for a fraction of the cost, but I'd also like to start selling some of her nicer stuff so I can recoup some what I've spent on her clothing. There's an app called Kidizen where you can buy/sell new and used baby clothes from other moms, and I'd really like to start selling some stuff on there. I ordered a printer on Amazon so I can print shipping labels (I'm such an adult now!) and as soon as it comes I'm going to try and get some stuff listed. And then put that money into savings and not immediately spend it on more baby clothes.


So, those are the three things I'd like to work on this year. If you have any magic potions to make me instantly drop 30 pounds, let me know - I'm excited to get back into the exercise grind but also very much NOT looking forward to the amount of hard work I know it's going to take. Yikes.

I have thoughts #4

Raise your hand if you can't believe that there's only 6 days left until Christmas. (Spoiler alert: I'm over here raising my hand.) I'm ready...it just doesn't feel like December is already half over! Before you know it, it'll be January and I'll be writing the wrong date on everything all over again.

Speaking of Christmas, one of the best parts...the 2017 Hater's Guide to the Williams Sonoma Catalog has finally been released and I. am. dying. As usual. In case you missed them, there are also guides from 2012-2016. I'm not going to link them all, but just Google "hater's guide to williams sonoma" and you'll find them. They're worth the quick Google search, trust me.

Any of you moms out there decided to get crib bumpers despite the warnings against them? Now that Imogen is getting close to 6 months old, she's moving around in her sleep more and more. I will put her down for bed at the very foot of her crib, and within 30 minutes, she's wiggled and inch-wormed her way all the way to the top of the crib. The problem is, she keeps getting her head stuck in the corner, or wiggling and smacking her head against the top of the crib. It wakes her up, and though she's gotten better at not ramming her head into the wooden slats over and over (and crying), she still takes a good 15-20 minutes to go back to sleep when she wakes up. I'm wondering if crib bumpers would help her fall back asleep faster? Then again, my hope is that she'll just figure out how to back up instead of just go forward, and then this will be a non-issue.

As I write this post, she is currently napping with her head jammed in the OTHER corner of the crib. Sigh.

I am officially done Christmas shopping! For some reason I felt like I was running out of time this year, just like I do every year, but it always seems to work out and somehow everything was delivered on time and I am only still waiting on a couple of items that should be delivered on Friday or Saturday. We're headed out of town on Friday but at least they'll be here when we get back. Isaiah has to go back to work the day after we get back from Seattle - on the night shift, no less (shoot me) - so we won't be having our own little family Christmas until the weekend of January 6th. It's fine. It means Christmas lasts longer, right? 

I wasn't planning on making Christmas cookies for all the neighbors this year because of everything going on (baby, going out of town, Isaiah working really long hours, etc) but I think I might just make one or two kinds of candy instead, just for our neighbors across the driveway from us and maybe some extra for Isaiah to take to work to share. Our neighbors are a nice older couple and we always give them Christmas cookies and I'm starting to feel twinges of guilt over skipping the tradition this year. I'm thinking toffee and...something. I'm not sure what yet. Maybe chocolate mint truffles.

Speaking of Christmas, I feel like we go through this exact scenario every year with Christmas cards. (Also, if you're not following John Crist on Instagram, you're missing out.)

Reliving Myspace, Christmas Edition

One time I saw Cady Heron wearing army pants and flip flops, so I bought army pants and flip flops. other bloggers doing this survey, so I'm doing this survey.

1. Real tree or fake tree?
FAKE, and preferably pre-lit. And then I burn my Bath and Body Works Fresh Balsam candle so we can still have that pine scent. Ain't nobody got time to vacuum pine needles all day and night.

2. Favorite Christmas cookie?
Tough call. I'll go with molasses cookies. Not gingerbread cookies...molasses. Like the round, crinkly, chewy kind. The spicier the better.

3. Home on Christmas morning or travel?
Normally, I much prefer to be home on Christmas morning. This year, though, we're flying to Seattle to be with my mom and sister on Christmas. Should be fun, though I can't say I won't miss our nice, quiet, calm Christmas morning at home in our living room.

4. Clear or colored lights?
This is a tough call, and I'm pretty sure the reason for divorce amongst many couples. My husband is firmly in the "clear lights only" camp. I could go either way, so clear lights are generally fine with me. The one time kind of colored lights I really, really love, however...those large-bulbed, retro ones. I could probably be happy with Christmas decorations strictly from the 50s and nothing else. Give me all the mercury glass ornaments/tree toppers, large glass bulbs, bubble lights, ceramic Christmas trees...I love it all.

5. Send Christmas cards?
Absolutely! We've done a photo card every year since we've been married. I usually post a screenshot of our card here on Christmas day so stay tuned if you want to see what this year's card looks like!

6. Favorite Christmas present received?
Everything Isaiah buys me. He always comes up with the most thoughtful gifts, half of the time things I didn't even know I wanted, or things I've mentioned I want but forgot about by the time Christmas rolls around.

7. Favorite Christmas present given?
I don't know if I have a favorite...I like giving gifts in general. Though this year Isaiah and I bought my mom a duvet cover she's been saying she wants for like a year now, and I'm excited for her to open it. We also splurged and bought Imogen a slightly expensive doll for Christmas this year. It's kind of a keepsake type of item, and dude...it has her name. We also bought her a doorway jumper and I'm super excited about that, too. Lately she's been alllll about jumping up and down while we're holding her under her arms, so I imagine the jumper is going to be quite a hit.

8. Stockings or no stockings?
Stockings! We never did stockings growing up for financial reasons, but Isaiah and I have always done them and we really enjoy it. I just ordered Imogen her first stocking and I can't wait for it to get here! Ideas for stocking stuffers for a baby who'll be almost 6 months old at Christmastime?

9. Christmas PJs?
Of course! Every year, I buy a new pair of flannel PJ pants from Old Navy, because they're usually dirt cheap and they have some fun patterns. I totally spaced it this year, though, with everything going on. And even if I were to order a pair right now, by the time they arrived (#alaska) we'd already be gone to Seattle for Christmas. Maybe I'll make a pit stop at Old Navy once we get there, who knows. So far, Imogen is the only one with new Christmas pajamas...

10. Favorite Christmas carol?
Hands down, O Come Emmanuel.

11. Favorite holiday tradition?
Since we do 95% of our Christmas shopping online (#alaska), on Christmas Eve Isaiah and I go into town, brave the crowds, and buy each other a Christmas Eve gift. We set a strict budget limit and see what we can find.

12. Early shopper or last minute?
Early shopper...again, 95% of my shopping has to be done online because again, #alaska.

13. Favorite Christmas movie or t.v. show?
I have a LOT of Christmas movies I really like (Elf, Christmas Vacation, Home Alone) but my two favorites have always been A Christmas Story and It's a Wonderful Life.

14. Favorite holiday beverage?
This year, the drink of the season seems to be hot apple cider. I can't get enough of it.

15. Cookies and milk for Santa?
Santa, schmanta. Cookies and milk for ANGI.

These Are My Confessions #2 (Christmas Edition)

+ I got a little salty this year toward people decorating for Christmas before Thanksgiving even happened. I know it's a commercial thing for stores, so they get a half-hearted pass, but people...what's so wrong with Thanksgiving that we have to completely overlook it and skip straight to Christmas? Maybe I'm just annoyed with this giant effort on the part of half of America to get rid of any holiday that they consider even slightly offensive (Columbus Day, anyone?). It makes me want to celebrate those holidays even harder, so there.

+ I think gift guides are useless and I have never once been inspired by one. First of all, they're so stereotypical. Wives want makeup, purses, cashmere scarves and fluffy bathrobes. Husbands want flasks, ties, socks, and some sort of electronics gadget. Except not. Second, what are with these "stocking stuffer" gift guides where nothing is under $50? I'm sorry, but $500 watches and iPhones are not stocking stuffers.

+ Get your pitchforks ready...I think that the Elf on a Shelf is ridiculous, and kind of wrong. Maybe I'm a little too opinionated on this, but I think I would just feel so extremely weird flat out lying to Imogen and telling her an elf doll is alive, watching her (um, creepy), and reporting back to Santa. I know people who go all out with the elf and that's fine, whatever, but I will forever hate it. We also don't do Santa (cue the collective gasps and "you're ruining your daughter's childhood" comments).

+ I don't really like "new" Christmas songs very much. There are some artists who do newer songs that I would consider more of a winter song than a Christmas song (for instance, look up The Sweeplings...bomb!) and those are okay, but overall, just give me the classics. Remixed, just fine! But entirely new songs tend to be cheesy, and I don't love cheesy Christmas songs. Unless it's "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer," in which case bring on the cheese.

+ I don't think I'm going to do my annual Christmas craft this year. Maybe I will. We'll see. But I kind of don't think I will. There's enough going on with remodeling bathrooms and keeping a 5 month old alive and making travel plans, busting out the hot glue gun and paint and whatever else just isn't at the top of my priority list. Again, we'll see...on a related note, I can't even believe it's been an entire year since we announced we were having a baby.

I have thoughts #3

The last time I wrote an "I have thoughts" post, Imogen had just gotten her 2 month vaccines. As luck would have it, this time around she just had her 4 month vaccines. I was hoping she'd get through them unscathed, but good grief. It was so much worse this time around. Last time she had a low fever for about a day and a half and was really sleepy the day of the shots, and that was it. She was fine. This time, she started feeling feverish that same afternoon, and the entire next day and night. She was tired. She was fussy. She wanted to sleep. She wanted to be awake. She wanted to eat. She didn't want to eat. She has only had two dirty diapers since then (TMI, sorry, but it is Friday and her shots were on Monday and that's not comfortable for anyone) and both were really runny thanks to the Rotavirus vaccine. Yesterday she went on a feeding strike and it was all I could do to get her to eat the bare minimum for most of the day. Today she is refusing to nap longer than 30 minutes at a time. I don't know how much of this is vaccine related and how much of it is age-related, since she just turned four months, but good grief. I'm exhausted from this week.

I attempted to make homemade apple cider today, and it. is. DELICIOUS. I posted the recipe on my Instagram story but if you missed it, let me know and I'll send you the recipe. It's so stinking easy, I don't know why I've never tried it before. I used honeycrisp apples. I can't wait to heat some up later this evening.

I've been on a book-buying streak for the baby lately, which isn't weird or anything but I need your recommendations for board books. We don't have nearly enough (is that possible, though?) There are only two shops in town that sell board books and they're all overpriced; I can get them cheaper on Amazon. Problem is, then I can't look inside them to see if I like them. We like really good illustrations, and a cute story. Examples of books we have and love: The Quiet Book, Red Wagon, A Lullaby for Little One, anything Peter Rabbit-related, and so on and so forth. Send me your suggestions!

Speaking of Peter Rabbit, is it too early to start planning Imogen's first birthday party? Don't answer that.

I bought a chalkboard and chalk pens recently and I've been obsessed with changing it up almost every single day. More often than not, it displays either a Ron Swanson quote or a Michael Scott quote. Today I plan on surprising Isaiah with a hot apple toddy (hence the apple cider experiment) when he gets home from work, so here's today's board:

With my spiced apple toddy candle burning, of course.

Is anyone else already feeling the pressure of Christmas gifts? I think it's because my mom is already asking me for gift ideas, but I feel like it's much later in November than it actually is. Like, is it really only the 10th? Surely December is like, next week. Daylight saving hasn't helped. I know, it's "the thing" for everyone to complain about, but I really hate it. I hate that it gets dark at like 4pm now, I hate that I'm ready for bed by 6:30, and I really couldn't care less that it's light at 8am again. Yay, that'll last all of a few weeks before we're down to about 6 hours of daylight. Take your daylight "saving" and shove it, Benjamin Franklin.

We're going to remodel our bathrooms and laundry room this weekend. Lord, beer us strength. Both bathrooms and the laundry room are getting new flooring; the downstairs half-bath is getting a new vanity, faucet and toilet; the upstairs full bath is getting a new vanity, faucet, medicine cabinet, lighting, and toilet. I'm not too worried about the two bathrooms, but I'm d r e a d i n g moving the washer/dryer and the hot water heater so we can do the floor in the laundry room. We just replaced the hot water heater a couple months ago and it was a complete pain in the you know what, and I'm not excited to move the stupid thing yet again. At least it should be easier to drain this time...the old one hadn't been replaced since it was originally installed in the 1980s, and the bottom was so full of sediment that we had to rig a drainage system to one of the element holes using the hose from our ShopVac. It was an adventure, and not one I'm wanting to repeat any time soon. That said, once the bathrooms and laundry room are finished, our house is DONE in the remodeling department. Five years of projects...anything after this is just bonus points.

Last thing: Thank the Lord it's Friday. Isaiah has been working a crap ton of overtime lately, and I am looking forward to a few days of family time. I may even have a spiked apple cider tonight, myself.

These Are My Confessions

+ I really, really hate the acronym "AF." If you don't know what it means, it means "as f***" and it's stupid. It also doesn't even make sense. "Married AF." "Tired AF." "Hungry AF." That means nothing.

+ I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but why do people give so many hand me downs as baby gifts? Don't get me wrong, I've gotten some hand me downs that were extremely thoughtful and actually really useful. But we have had three separate sets of people now randomly go to either the thrift store or garage sales to buy us bags full of used baby clothes. And they look used. And they're not our style at ALL. Again, I don't want to sound like a total B and like I'm ungrateful for the things people get us, but we're set with plenty of clothes. We don't need grocery bags full of used baby clothes that we're just going to turn around and re-donate. I'd rather our family and friends say, "Hey, I would imagine Imogen is growing out of her newborn clothes at this point, is there anything you need?" The moral of the story is, if you know someone having a baby...JUST ASK. Don't waste your money. Ask.

+  Fall is not my favorite season. Summer is. Cue the collective gasps. It's just that it's cool/chilly here so much of the year that I basically live for any day over 60 degrees.

+ I don't like Halloween. We don't celebrate it and probably never will.

+ Imogen is 4 months old (tomorrow) and I'm still mostly wearing my maternity jeans. My non-maternity jeans kinda fit, but they're a little too snug around my hips, which have not yet gone back down to normal. "Muffin top" is only good when it's referring to food. My goal is to be out of maternity jeans full time by Thanksgiving.

+ I always thought that babies aren't supposed to start solid foods until they're six months old, but apparently you can start as early as four months? I never knew this until recently, and now when I look at Imogen and think we could start giving her purees/cereal any day now, I get really sad and think we might wait until six months just because I am not ready for her to be so grown up.

+ Usually I am instantly in the Christmas spirit once November 1st hits, but we're going to be traveling this year and I suddenly have no desire to decorate our house when we won't even be here. My husband vehemently disagrees with my opinion so we'll probably still decorate. I don't mind decorating. I just hate taking it all down again.

Tell me some of your confessions. I know I'm not alone.

Reliving Myspace, Fall Edition

Well, it's been a minute since I posted anything but I can't think of anything interesting to talk about, so instead you get a survey. Because if the words "pumpkin spice" don't appear in at least one blog post, is it even fall?

1. Favorite fall sweet treat?
Pumpkin chocolate chip muffins. I don't think I made any last year. That must be remedied this year.

2. Red, yellow, or green apples?
I tend to lean toward more tart apples, but some of those can be red, so...I guess red and green?

3. Favorite fall sport to play?
Watching Netflix.

4. Best drink for fall?
I don't really have a regular fall drink. I'm still drinking iced coffee over here, even though it's 50 degrees and pouring rain.

5. Favorite fall activity?
Baking all of the things.

6. Must-have fall purchase?
Usually a cardigan or two. I fiiiiinnnnally bought a mustard yellow cardigan while in Seattle last week and I'm having to stop myself from wearing it every single day.

7. Pumpkins: Pick your own or store bought?
Store bought if I buy them at all. Ain't no pumpkin farms 'round these parts.

8. Real or fake pumpkin?
Depends. If I'm decorating inside, fake. If I'm decorating outside, real. If I'm baking, real.

9. Favorite Halloween costume?
We don't really do Halloween. Just not into it.

10. College or NFL football?
NFL all the way. My alma mater doesn't have a football team. If I was forced to choose one, though, it'd be University of Washington.

11. Fall or Halloween decor?
FALL. Aside from not celebrating Halloween, I don't see the appeal of decorating with ghosts and witches and bloody Frankenstein heads.

12. Raking leaves or no leaves to rake?
Well, we don't have a yard, so...no leaves to rake, I guess?

13. Favorite soup?
Lentil. After that, either split pea or butternut squash/apple.

14. Favorite fall scent candle?
Any of the pumpkin ones from Bath and Body Works, and we just bought one called Bourbon and Sea Salt Caramel and it is heavenly.

15. Love or hate pumpkin spice?
I love pumpkin but am ambivalent toward pumpkin spice.

16. Short booties or tall boots?
Why choose? Both!

17. Favorite Halloween candy?
Anything but candy corn/pumpkins.

18. Pumpkin spice latte: Yes or no?
I could take it or leave it. However, I do like just a regular iced coffee with almond milk and one pump of pumpkin syrup.

19. Corn maze or hayride?
I've never done either.

20. Favorite fall TV show?
The Blacklist.

Linking up with The Blended Blog!

I can't even.

I can't even with...

+ Anything on Instagram other than actual stories and photos. Why was Boomerang invented? Why? If I wanted to watch someone clink a champagne glass on a 2 second loop or watch someone take the same bite of the same donut 500 times, I would...well, I wouldn't. Also, Instagram filters. I'm sorry I feel this way, but nobody over the age of twelve should be posting photos/videos of themselves with flower crowns and anime eyes or deer faces. It's just weird and I got rid of Snapchat for a reason.

+ People who passive aggressively belittle your baby's name. Look, there are tons of legitimately weird baby names out there. But, just like you wouldn't look at someone's baby and say they look "interesting", it's not exactly polite to say someone's baby name choice is "interesting." Just smile, nod, and lie. Say it's a pretty/unique/awesome name, even if you think they should have just named their baby Dirt and been done with it. If I had a dollar for every person who asked what my daughter's name was and, when told, looks at me blankly and says "Oh, interesting," (or just a plain old "Huh??") I'd be a rich mother. For the record, we didn't make it up, it is an actual name, it's Irish, it means "maiden" and "innocent", and apparently nobody on the west coast has ever heard of it. And no, I'm not defensive at all about it, why!?

+ Waiting forever in a drive thru for someone with a gigantic order. One of my least favorite things in the world is pulling into the drive thru line at the coffee shop, then waiting ten minutes for the line to even budge. I'm sitting there wondering what's taking so long, then I see 4 frappucinos, 2 hot coffees, a smoothie, three bagels and two sandwiches handed to the driver. Look, if you're ordering for your daughter's soccer team, GO INSIDE. Drive thrus are for quick orders, not so you don't have to walk ten feet and stand in a normal line.

+ The price of some baby clothes. Look, I love Carters and Old Navy as much as the next gal, but sometimes I want to branch out, you know? There's this website full of baby clothes I just absolutely adore, but hail if I'm going to pay $30+ for an outfit she'll wear a handful of times, even if it is the cutest thing I've ever seen. Ironically, I would totally spend $30 on an outfit for a gift. But not for my OWN daughter...?

+ Loop giveaways on Instagram (coming back around to IG again). Simple giveaways from people I already follow, great! Giveaways where I have to follow 30 new small businesses and have about a one in a million chance of winning? Nooooooope. Not happening. Not ever. Mostly because I don't have the time to go back and UNfollow all those people when I don't win.

+ Mommy wars. I've seen far too many of them lately and they're getting on my nerves. Who cares if you breastfeed or formula feed? Who cares if your baby is in cloth diapers or disposables? Who cares if you choose to work or stay at home? Who cares if you give your six month old a jar of Gerber puree or do baby led weaning? Who cares if your kid watches Daniel Tiger or has no concept of what a television even is? We're all doing our best and my opinion is that we all need to make the best choices we can for our families and call it good. Be confident in your choices, and if you're not, make some changes. Getting offended only hurts one person - yourself.

I have thoughts #2

My poor baby had to get her first round of vaccines this week, at her two month check up. Is it just me, or does it seem like SIX vaccines is a lot for such a tiny baby? I know it's for her own good, but my gosh...three shots and an oral vaccine. She was such a trooper, though - her eyes got HUGE when they first stuck the needles in (they had two nurses doing them at one time to get it over with faster) and then she cried so hard she didn't even breathe for a good 15 seconds, but then she calmed down after only a few minutes. She did have a low grade fever later that night and the next day and she slept a TON, but she seems mostly back to normal, now. Still, tell me this isn't the saddest picture:

I have been absolutely itching to be outside lately. I feel like I've been basically housebound the last two months, despite the handful of times Isaiah and I have taken the baby out or the few times I've ventured out on my own. Of course now that Imogen is getting easier to take places and has actually been enjoying her stroller (meaning I can start going on walks!), the weather has gone to crap and we've had maybe two days without rain in the last few weeks. Story of my life. 

Somewhat against my will, I semi-recently had to upgrade my phone to the iPhone 7. Long story short, my iPhone 6 was having major battery issues, and one day finally just died and wouldn't charge at all, leaving me sans phone. I like the 7, except for one thing. It will NOT stay connected to our WiFi. I have tried just about every "here's how you fix that!" tutorial I can find online and have yet to find something that actually works. Instead, all day long I keep having to go into settings to reconnect to Wifi. It's annoying as all heck and apparently it's a known issue, so why they haven't released an update that fixes it is beyond me.

I'm getting excited for fall television. Well, not television - fall Netflix. I just got an email alerting me that season 4 of The Blacklist is now on Netflix (if you aren't watching that show, why not?) and it reminded me that it's almost fall and that means all our favorite shows should be having new seasons added. I'm looking at you, Grimm/New Girl/Portlandia/Gotham/Fuller House/Stranger Things.

We are flying down to Seattle at the end of this month for a minor outpatient surgery for Imogen and I'm really nervous about how she's going to sleep while we're at my mom's house. Thus far, she's only slept in a Rock and Play at night, next to our bed. The plan was to start transitioning her to her crib in her own room by the time she hits 3 months old (trust me, I didn't intend to have her sleeping in our room this long, even) but this trip kind of interrupts the time frame a little bit. My mom has purchased a Pack and Play for her to sleep in while we're there, and I have no idea how she's going to handle suddenly having to sleep on a hard, flat surface, completely cold turkey. I'd really like to not have some crazy sleep regression but I'm bracing for it, just in case. 

On a related note - anybody who has flown with a 3 month old baby, give me all your tips!! I already know about nursing/bottle/pacifier during takeoff and landing...what else?

I wish due dates were concrete just like our new countertops.

Happy due date to me! Well, I guess happy due date to this baby girl is more accurate, and if she wants to make it her birthday too, that would be fine.

No impending labor signs yet that I'm aware of, other than occasional Braxton Hicks which are nothing new - I've been feeling those off and on for like two months now. I haven't been checked by the doctor yet, so I don't know if/how much I've dilated. So far it hasn't mattered - babies come when they come and I trust my body will know when it's time - but if I make it to my appointment next week we'll definitely need to make sure things are moving along. I was informed last week that they "don't like" to let moms go past 41 weeks, which I think is a little silly if everyone's healthy (and wealthy and wise, as my mother would say), so I'll be asking for 42 weeks at least. I really don't think I'll still be pregnant then, so I feel like it's a bit of a moot point.

We did decide that last weekend was the perfect time to rip apart our kitchen in order to redo our countertops and backsplash and I was semi-hoping that would jump start labor, being on my feet all day every day but no dice. I've been wanting concrete countertops for ages, so for my birthday, Isaiah surprised me with all the supplies to cover up our ugly, pale yellow laminate counters with a concrete overlay.

It actually worked really well, and they're 95% finished and will be 100% finished this weekend (assuming this baby doesn't interrupt the plan). They're technically done, but we wanted to go the extra step of adding a wax layer on top of the sealant to make them extra stain and scratch-proof. I've been using them the last few days without the wax layer, though, and they've been great!

You probably saw these pictures already if you follow me on Instagram, but here's the before (ew), during, and a couple of after photos - one with the counters still empty and one with everything put back. Not bad for only a 4-day project, if I do say so myself!

Ew. Just ew.

Mid-concrete application. We used 3 thin layers of Ardex Feather Finish. Messy, yes, but fairly easy.

New wooden backsplash and finished countertops! We sealed them with Cheng's Concrete Sealer and followed a YouTube tutorial we found online (since the reviews mostly said the instructions on the bottle were outdated and didn't work properly).

So fresh, so clean clean. And a furry photobomber. And a big plastic tote I forgot to take out of the sink post-wash and pre-photo. Can't win 'em all.

Remember when I said I was hoping to make a bunch of freezer meals for under $150 for after the baby's born and neither of us want to cook? The grand total of my shopping trip, not including the cost of the ingredients I had on hand at home already or the things I'll need to go with the meals, came to $160. I was pretty proud of myself. I bought enough to make five freezer meals and a bunch of pre-portioned smoothie packs, and I figure each meal will feed us at least twice, with possibly a bit left over. Add to the cost the extra side dishes (rice, quinoa) and necessary serving vessels (tortillas, for chicken tacos) and I bet it'll all come in at right around $200 total. I still think that's pretty outrageous and anywhere but Sitka I could do all that for a lot less, but $200 for 10-15 meals around here is about as good as it gets, especially when there's any kind of meat involved. So I'm satisfied.

I do have to say, one thing I am getting tired of being asked is what we're naming the baby. For some reason, even though we have had months to get used to the question, I cannot for the life of me figure out a way to answer that doesn't come across as super awkward.  I guess part of me finds it odd that strangers legitimately expect us to tell them the name we've chosen, and part of me feels awkward telling them we're not telling them. "Uh...well...we do have one but aren't really telling anyone until she's born..." Unfortunately my bumbling response isn't usually met with a happy, understanding face. It's usually met with a blank stare and an "Oh, okay..." And then I feel like I have to have a darn good reason, like we still can't decide between a few names (not true) or we want to make sure the name fits her looks before we finalize it (also not true).

At least we're running extremely short on the amount of time we still have to feel awkward about this situation. I hope.