Well, it's been a hot minute, hasn't it? I don't know why but I've been in a blogging rut lately and haven't even wanted to do my "life lately" posts because of the funk I've been in.
Wait, I feel like I'm doing this wrong...hold on...
OMG YOU GUYSSS. I'm so so SO sorry, I disappeared for a while but I'm back now!!!!! I hope you all didn't miss me too much, I'll do my best not to let my real life get in the way of my blogging from now on!!!!! Again, I'm SO sorry!!!!!
I crack myself up.
ANYwho, what better way to pull myself out of the funk that I've been in for a solid month now (I blame the weather, single parenting while my husband works 2394723410923874 hours of overtime, and just Alaska in general because why not?) than a bunch of pet peeves and gripes that I've been keeping track of in my phone for a post just like this? Onward!
Oh - and before anybody gets their you-know-whats in a wad, none of this is directed at anyone in particular. Nobody is on my mind THAT much. Well, except my baby, but she'd be on your mind 24/7 too if it was your leg she was trying to climb all day, every day.
+ The phrase "two kids under ____." I totally get the "two under two" or "three under three" notion because that's a lot of toddlerhood all smashed together, but the other day I heard someone make the comment that they had "two under three." As far as I'm concerned, that's a pretty normal spacing of kids, is it not? I was just shy of 2 1/2 when my sister was born, and I know a lot of people who have a two-ish year old when they have a new baby. What's next...two under five? Three under seven? It's like the "my baby is ____ months old" thing. After 24 months, just say how old they are in years, for the love of teething biscuits.
+ The term "girl boss." I don't know why this one gets under my skin, but it's just as annoying as "boy mom" or "girl mom." Hooray for breaking glass ceilings and all that, but there's literally nothing a man can do that a woman is not allowed to do these days, and one of those things is being a boss. How's this for a mind trip - starting at age 15, I've only had ONE job where my boss WASN'T a female. WHOAAAA.
+ Instagram gifs. I get it. They have their time and place. But every freaking Instagram story these days has multiple gifs splattered across the screen and I'm so over it. Enough with the dancing people and bouncy hearts!
+ The term "living my best life." I honestly don't know why this phrase annoys me, but it does. I think maybe because it's overused and applied to seriously mundane situations. "I'm eating a donut right now...living my best life!!" Seriously? Talk about low standards. You can hashtag your Instagram photo when you're doing something actually cool, like scuba diving with sharks in Costa Rica or summiting Mount Everest. Drinking wine next to a swimming pool doesn't qualify.
+ The thumbs up emoji. I'm seriously considering blocking the next person who replies to a text message from me with JUST the thumbs up emoji. How lazy are you, that you can't say "great!" or "sounds good!" or even just "OK"?
+ People who poke/touch babies' faces. Unless you're me or my husband, HANDS OFF. Someone (who shall remain nameless but who I'm related to by marriage) was literally flicking Imogen's cheeks the other day, Imogen was clearly not enjoying it, and yet they wouldn't stop. Add to that the average of three people every time we're at the grocery store who want to walk up and poke her in the face and I'm literally about to start doing it back to these people. Let's see how they like their cheeks flicked, poked and pinched.
+ Baby milestone comparisons. I don't really need to elaborate too much on this one because if you're a parent you already get it, but my goodness. Who cares if your kid pulls themselves to standing at 6 months or 9 months? Who cares if your kid walks at 12 months or 18 months? Who cares if your kid claps or dances or feeds themselves before so-and-so's kid? When mothers do this it always feels like it's more about what your kid isn't doing as opposed to what their kid is doing, and I'm so over it.
Okay, I think that's it for now. Time for coffee #3 and a quick edit job before the kiddo wakes up from her morning nap. Did I mention she's starting to cruise around the furniture now and has been dancing to music for the last week!? No, I didn't, because NOBODY CARES.
Really leaving now.
Ha, I say living my best life now all the time. Apologies ;)
ReplyDeleteGirl boss/girl mom/boy mom drive me craaazy. So stupid. Congratulations on your special club?
My biggest annoyance is the obsession over the royal wedding. I do not care even slightly. I like Queen Elizabeth and the royals before her, but the current ones? No thanks.
Yeah the thumbs up emoji is annoying! I know so many people that use it and it bugs me.
ReplyDeleteI am a total thumbs up emoji offender!! LOL! I also hate girl boss. And girl mom/boy mom. It also bugs me (and I am not a mom yet obviously so perhaps I don't really have the credentials to say this) when women say "my mama heart was happy/hurt/sad/scared/proud." Your mama heart? Seriously? My sister is graduating this weekend and wouldn't it be weird if I said my sister heart is so proud? Drives me NUTS!!
ReplyDeleteI'm basically an old fogey who hardly uses emojis other than old-school, actually typed out sideways faces. I like those a lot. :) But in general any sort of response that is just an emoji is weird to me. But the main thing that weirds me out about emojis is when older men use the heart-eyes one. We have a family friend who's an elder at our church here and he's like an extra dad, I like him a lot and talk to him often because our youth ministry is part of what he manages at church...but he does stuff like comment heart-eyes emojis on a regular basis and I'm like...that's so weird. If it were my 18 year old sister, okay. That emoji is not for middle-aged dads.
ReplyDeleteThus far I've purposely decided not to even look up when babies are supposed to accomplish what milestones so whenever Cyrus does something I'll think it's cool and record it and all but then no stress about whether he's "Early" or "Late." I'll just pretend he's Gandalf. ;)
I've learned that I can't look at pregnancy updates that other people post. The comparison trap of what I "should" look like is real.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I'm sure I've told you this before but my NUMBER ONE pet peeve related to babies is when people say they "made this" in relation to their baby or "I make beautiful babies" or "My friend made a beautiful baby", etc.
The ability to have a baby is not an arts and crafts project. It's not a skill you hone.
I have zero kids under zero. All of which, crawled, ate solid foods, and read the world’s longest novel before your child did. So I think I’m living my best life now... 👍🏻
ReplyDeleteBut seriously, all of those Mom ones would get under my skin too. I experience something similar with underhanded comments that basically boils down to “you wouldn’t understand because you don’t have kids”. Which to an extent may be true but that doesn’t make me an idiot.
Why do people think it's okay to just come up and touch someone else's baby?! This drives me absolutely insane.
ReplyDelete