In defense of SAHMs and homeschooling

Antisocial homeschool kids not making any friends or having any fun, educational experiences outside the home.

Before I start getting into the topic, let me preface this by saying that I have nothing against working moms or moms who send their kids to daycare or public school. Nothing against them whatsoever. If you feel that working and putting your kids in daycare is the best choice for your family, that's awesome. Some mothers have to work out of necessity, and some choose to work because they feel that's how they feel they can best contribute to their family. I'm not here to judge working mothers or mothers who hire a babysitter so they can get a break from their kids once or twice a week or even moms who send their kids to daycare part time even though they aren't working.

Whatever works for your family, that's what's best. I would add that, personally, I think whether a mom chooses to work or stay at home is between her, God, and her husband.

That said...

I've seen several comments floating around the blog world and internet in general lately that are kind of derogatory toward stay-at-home moms and homeschooling. It seems a lot of people think that kids who stay at home vs. go to daycare/public school are in an either/or type of situation. EITHER they stay at home, OR they get to have friends. EITHER they stay at home, OR they get to experience people and things outside the home. EITHER they stay at home, OR they're socialized and well-adjusted.

It probably irritates me a little more than the average person, because I am both 1. the product of a SAHM/homeschooling family and 2. a stay-at-home-mom myself (homeschooling is TBD since I have a few years to think about it), but it's irritating nonetheless. I was homeschooled, I spent a couple of years in a private school, and I also went to a public high school. I can honestly say that I had the same amount of friends no matter where I was. I had school friends, I had neighborhood friends, I had church friends, and I had friends that were just the kids of my parents' friends. During my homeschool years, I was most certainly not lacking in any kind of socialization or experiences outside the home. My mom actually worked really hard to make sure both my sister and I had plenty of opportunities for activities outside the house.

People seem to think that if you keep your kids at home and don't send them to daycare and/or public school, you're essentially locking them in a basement with some bread and maybe some water and no exposure whatsoever to the big wide world outside. It couldn't be further from the truth, and honestly, I wonder if people who think that have actually ever talked to someone who was homeschooled or never went to daycare.

My sister and I both took music lessons and played in a youth symphony with other kids and teens for years. I played softball both for the YMCA and the local junior high school. My sister took ice skating lessons and met friends there. We both went to a homeschool co-op for a couple of years where we got to take a couple of classes and meet plenty of other kids who also homeschooled. We went rollerskating with other homeschool families every single Friday for several years. We had church Sunday School and youth group and had friends who both homeschooled and went to public school.

We were most certainly not lacking in either friends or outside-the-house experiences or, if you prefer, "socialization."

Honestly, I truly can't even begin to describe how much I despise that word when it's applied to homeschool kids or kids who don't go to daycare while their moms go to work. Kids are people. Kids are not dogs. Kids can learn social skills from their parents, their siblings if they have them, their neighbors, watching their mom interact with the dang cashier at the grocery store, for crying out loud.

To be blunt, I really do not understand what half the world has against SAHMs or homeschool families. There's no rhyme or reason to the accusations that are thrown out there, whether they're passive aggressive or blatantly rude. Maybe sometime, somewhere, there was a homeschool kid that was kinda weird or a little bit anti-social, but that's seriously not the norm. And, frankly, I knew plenty of daycare/public school kids who grew up to be terrible people. Public school does not a perfect person make (obviously, as evidenced by recent tragic events).

I guess all I'm saying is that I wish people would quit making off-the-cuff comments or passive aggressive statements that really don't do much to disguise how little they think of SAHMs or homeschoolers. Maybe talk to one of us sometime and try to understand our side of things. Sure, there are plenty of judgmental people/mothers out there on BOTH sides of the aisle. There are SAHMs who think working mothers are evil, selfish human beings who are shirking their child-raising responsibilities. There are working mothers who think SAHMs are lazy and sit around in their pajamas eating brownies while their kids play in their rooms alone all day.

Let's just not be either one of those people, okay? There are plenty of actual, legitimate reasons to judge people. How a person chooses to parent/school their kids really isn't one of them.

Questions? Let me know. I'm happy to share my life experiences with you.