Wednesday, August 9, 2017

I have thoughts.

+ Taking care of a baby is hard work. You think it'll be easy - all they do is eat, poop and sleep, with the main emphasis on sleep. Right? You think the hardest part will be waking up every couple of hours during the night to feed them, and then they'll drift easily back into sleep and so will you. But before you know it, you're dealing with low milk supply and a baby with a high, narrow palate who isn't gaining weight like they should and you're going to doctor/lactation consultant/therapist appointments at least two, sometimes three times a week and on top of all that your beautiful, perfect baby doesn't actually seem to appreciate sleep and you're lucky if you manage a broken 4 total hours of your own sleep at night.

+ Despite all of the above, the deep love you have for this brand new beautiful human is like nothing you've ever known before and you would do literally anything for them, including pumping after every single nursing session in order to boost your supply when pumping is the actual worst.

+ Five weeks feels like five years.

+ Five weeks feels like five minutes.

+ It's hard not to feel a little bit (okay, a lot bit) annoyed with moms who get bent out of shape when their husbands are an hour late home from work because they're BASICALLY RAISING THE BABY ALONE, YOU KNOW. Not that that's not hard, but Isaiah got scheduled to work nights for the next two months, which means I am alone literally 22 out of 24 hours of the day. All day, and all night. We get two hours a day together when he isn't either sleeping or working, and I would give my right arm for him to ONLY be gone 8-9 hours a day.

+ I got a wild hair the other day and thought I would try on my "fat" jeans from before I was pregnant. HA. HAHAHA. If you value your self esteem at all, do NOT do that at only 5 weeks postpartum. I don't know whose hips and thighs these are, but they certainly aren't mine. Supposedly, breastfeeding will just melt those extra pounds right off your body but that hasn't been my experience so far at all. I lost 10 pounds the day Imogen was born, and another five over the next week...and not a pound has been lost since then...weeks ago. I'm breastfeeding exclusively, I don't overeat and most of my food is healthy. What gives!?

+ "They" say the hardest part of having a newborn tends to get better after 6 weeks. "They" also say 8 weeks, and "they" also say 12 weeks. I'm hoping for closer to 6.

+ If you have a kid(s) and you have your parents living close to you - even relatively close, within an hour or two - count your blessings.

+ I still laugh when we get blank stares after telling someone the baby's name. A lot of people think we made it up. We did not.


  1. That's hard to have Isaiah gone so much. I'm sorry! I try to not take it for granted that my in-laws live so close to us. It is crazy how much we love these tiny people who cause us so much stress and angst ;) I wish I could say the sleeping thing gets better, and it does off and on, but honestly right now my toddler is causing us more sleep loss than our newborn. Help.

  2. You have just been through it lately. I wish I could do something, anything to help. I hear you on husbands working long hours (though at least James was home at night!) and no family. It is SO HARD. This is the hardest part. You have it so much harder than I did, and I struggled. I would take my tantruming 2 year old over a newborn any day of the week. It sucks for real right now but it will be a hazy memory one day.

    You are killing it. Don't even look at those jeans for a few more months. You're doing all the right things, it just takes time. Which sucks. Basically everything sucks during the newborn days ;)

  3. So. Much. Sympathy. Carting Jackson to the lactation consultant/pediatrician every week for weight checks and feeding updates was draining and stressful.

    I'm sorry you are dealing with Isaiah being gone so much. That is HARD. I still struggle with Justin being gone and I know we have it much easier than some!

    Keep it up, mama. You are a rock star!

  4. YES!!!!! Oh my goodness I can relate to so much of this. When E was small, Kyle was rarely around and it was rough. So i can definitely empathize my dear friend. People don't realize how hard it is to take care of these little people!

    1. SO HARD. Oh my goodness. So much love but so, so exhausting. I was so naive before...haha.

  5. It is incredibly difficult caring for a new baby alone. Annabelle was born when we were stationed at Fort Campbell. My family was all in MA, my inlaws were in TX and Christopher was at work for all hours of the day and night. Even if you don't feel like it, you're doing great. You're keeping a person alive!!! Has nursing gotten any easier?

  6. There's definitely a reason that we moved halfway across the globe and ended up in the same apartment complex as my parents. ;)

  7. Losing weight is so hard. Don't worry. It comes. And your hips will take way longer to shrink than you'd expect.

    It is SO hard doing it without family help. I can't even imagine parenting 22/24 hours a day alone.

    You really are going to get through it. And everything else will be like a walk in the park after this. You've got this!

    Do you ever call her Imo? I do in my head all the time and think it's an adorable nickname (I've heard it used on other people with the same fake name, I swear I'm not making it up). I hope you do and it's not one of those things that annoys you. Because that would make me sad, but she's your baby so you're in charge of her name.

    I think I need more coffee. I wish I could bring you some. And doughnuts. Love you guys!